Changing their mind about what they were doing, changing their attitude, and hence changing their behaviour, is what we really wanted to see. Repentance is the right word for that.
In the face of ongoing bad behaviour, some take an early decision in the direction of revenge. Others feel they should forgive. The forgiving, however, usually makes no difference to the other person’s behaviour if there is no repentance. Other strategies are needed, especially if some kind of violence is involved (including psychological and manipulative violence.)
Which other strategies will make a difference? To that there is no easy answer. But sometimes, something like the Psalmist’s plea is needed, if only at the level of a phone call to the police. A more powerful authority is often needed to stop the evil.
But even if it is stopped, can forgiveness be given? What if the person never repents? One thing we can do is to decide not to hold the sin against them. This is not necessarily to hold them unaccountable, because it can mean leaving the judgment to God. The same applies to our desire for revenge – leave it to the Lord, says Paul (Rom 12).
But will God let them off? Are we better managing these cases ourselves? We know that God’s forgiveness is offered freely - to the repentant. No one else wants it. Repentance means to desire pardon. Although Christ has died for the sins of the whole world it only benefits those who repent. Those who want to be right with God. It is a serious limitation on the effects of Christ’s death. Do you want God’s pardon—enough to repent? Do you really want to be right with God?
Dale